The Brakes and the Gas
There are moments in life when you begin asking yourself difficult questions—not because something has gone wrong, but because something deep inside you is asking to grow.
Lately, I've found myself in one of those seasons. I've been spending more time journaling, reflecting, and simply sitting with my thoughts. Not searching for someone else to give me the answers, but becoming willing to ask myself the questions I've avoided for far too long.
One question kept surfacing.
Why does it sometimes feel like I'm working so hard, yet making so little progress?
The answer didn't come all at once; it arrived as a picture. I realized I had been living as though I were driving a car with one foot firmly on the accelerator while the other rested on the brake.
My heart was saying, "Go."
My dreams were saying, "There's more."
My desires were inviting me to become the person I know I'm capable of becoming. Yet another voice quietly whispered, "What if you fail? What if people don't understand? What if you get it wrong?" No wonder the journey felt exhausting. I wasn't lacking desire. I was creating resistance.
That realization wasn't easy to accept because it required me to stop looking outside of myself for the answer. It wasn't my family. It wasn't society. It wasn't my career. It wasn't Papa God. It wasn't the Universe. It was me.
Not because I wanted to hold myself back, but because somewhere along the way I accepted beliefs that were never meant to define my life.
That truth was uncomfortable. It was also incredibly freeing.
When Desire Became a Turning Point
One morning I looked up the definition of the word desire. It simply says that desire is a strong feeling of wanting something or wishing for something to happen. Then I noticed something I had overlooked for years.
Desire is a verb.
A verb is movement.
A verb is action.
A verb moves us forward.
That stopped me in my tracks.
Somewhere along my journey, I had learned to admire my desires instead of living them. Instead of asking, "What do I truly desire?" I found myself asking, "What should I desire?" There is a difference. A profound difference.
Without even realizing it, I had been filtering my dreams through other people's expectations, through old beliefs, through fear of failure, through fear of judgment, and through the need to know exactly how everything would work before I ever took the first step.
The more I reflected, the more I realized that every compromise added just a little more pressure to the brake pedal.
The Resistance I Was Creating
For years I believed resistance happened to us. Now I'm beginning to believe something different. Sometimes resistance is created within us.
- Every time I made myself smaller so someone else could feel comfortable...I created resistance.
- Every time I questioned my intuition because it didn't fit what society considered normal...I created resistance.
- Every time I convinced myself that I wasn't ready, qualified enough, experienced enough, or worthy enough...I created resistance.
No one else was pressing the brake. I was. That isn't written with shame. It's written with ownership. Because ownership gives us something blame never can. Freedom. If I helped create the resistance, then I also can begin releasing it.
What Resistance Really Looks Like
Resistance rarely announces itself.
- It quietly disguises itself as hesitation.
- It looks like overthinking.
- It sounds like self-doubt.
- It becomes procrastination that we convince ourselves is preparation.
- It tells us to wait for the perfect moment, when deep down we know that perfect moment rarely arrives.
Eventually we become so familiar with these patterns that we mistake them for our personality instead of recognizing them as habits we've learned. That realization challenged me. After all, I'm usually the person encouraging everyone else to chase their dreams.I genuinely love watching people discover who they were created to be. Yet I had forgotten to offer myself the same encouragement I freely gave to everyone else. Maybe you've experienced that too. Maybe that's one of the reasons you've found your way here. Not because either of us has life completely figured out.But because both of us are willing to keep growing.
Choosing Alignment Instead of Fear
One sentence has stayed with me throughout this entire journey.
The resistance wasn't coming from life. It was coming from the gap between what my soul desired and what my mind believed was acceptable. Read that again.
- The gap.
- That gap became the friction.
- That friction became resistance.
- The more I lived according to expectations that didn't align with who I truly am, the harder life felt.
- What if the life we're longing for isn't waiting for us to become someone else?
- What if it's waiting for us to stop resisting who we've always been?
That question has changed me. Today I'm permitting myself to dream again. I'm permitting myself to speak my desires out loud without needing to apologize for them. Not because I know exactly how they'll happen. Not because I have every answer.But because silence has never helped a dream grow. I'm learning to trust that courage grows one step at a time; even if I stumble, even if I have to begin again. Growth has never required perfection. It has only required movement.
Your Journal This Week
If you're willing, I'd love for you to grab a journal this week and spend a few quiet moments reflecting on these questions.
- Where in my life am I pressing both the accelerator and the brake?
- What desire continues to return to my heart?
- Is it truly my desire, or one I've inherited from someone else's expectations?
- What belief continues creating resistance in my life?
- If fear and judgment no longer had a vote, what would I begin today?
Don't rush your answers. Sit with them. Come back tomorrow and read them again. Then notice what begins to change.
Growth doesn't begin when we have all the answers. Growth begins when we're willing to ask better questions.
Speak This Over Yourself
Before you leave today, pause for just a moment.
Take a deep breath.
Then read these words slowly.
I am enough.
I am the creator of my perception of reality.
I choose thoughts that align with who I was created to become.
I release fear.
I release judgment.
I release limitation.
I choose alignment.
I choose adventure.
I choose to live intentionally.
Thank you for allowing me to share part of my journey. Now I'd love to hear yours. Because your voice is important, you are important, and what you have to say will help and bless others.
As a community:
Let's continue learning.
Let's continue reaching.
Let's continue teaching.
Most importantly, let's remind one another that life isn't about arriving.
It's about becoming.
Until next time...
- Be the light you've been called to be.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Be kind to others.
- And together...
